Wednesday 29 April 2015

Fairy Queen


Over hill, over dale,
Thorough bush, thorough brier,
Over park, over pale,
Thorough flood, thorough fire,
I do wander every where,
Swifter than the moone's sphere;
And I serve the fairy queen,
To dew her orbs upon the green:
The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
In their gold coats spots you see;
Those be rubies, fairy favours,
In their freckles live their savours:
I must go seek some dew-drops here,
And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.
Farewell, thou lob of spirits: I'll be gone:
Our queen and all her elves come here anon.

A Midsummer-Night's Dream (2.1.2-17)

I never cease to marvel at the human ability to seek out and create beauty during traumatic times.  This bridal shawl, strung with around four hundred glistening glass beads, became an emotional life raft for me over April as malevolence took root in my home and I found myself hurtling down a rabbit hole into an eerie Alice In Wonderland world where nothing felt as it should.  And however much I felt the panic rising within me I was determined to savour the pleasures of April.  I observed the prettiness of wild primroses, violets and cowslips together with the cheeriness of cultivated tulips but, just as the first coffee of the morning had lost its flavour, I just could not feel them.  Come the month of May, however, I will be given a new lease of life.  Once my husband leaves our home there will be fewer lies, threats and less manipulation. I will be in the constant company of my three precious children. I have the gift of a new life ahead and I feel so very blessed.

Shawl: Mustardseed by Boo Knits
Yarn: Quince and Co.'s wispy, silky, laceweight Piper in the Longhorn colourway.
Model: a most patient Héloïse.

I cannot even begin to show my gratitude to you all for your kindness and supportive comments these past weeks.  Your wise words and virtual hugs have made an unbearable situation almost bearable.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Stephanie x 


  1. Hi Stephanie, I'm gutted to hear you've been having a horrible time of late but glad you are putting a positive spin on things :-) Here's wishing you a wonderful summer ahead,
    Erica (All Things Ottoline) xxx

  2. My dearest Stephanie,
    I cannot begin to imagine the pain and heartache you've being going through these past weeks. You've been in my thoughts and prayers that you might find the love and strength to cope at this time through the love of your beautiful children and your beautiful heart.
    My dear, I was thinking of you while out walking this morning, the words of one of my favourite songs came to mind (it's a song which helped me through some difficult times), it's called 'Don't look Back' by Bliss. Here are the words, I hope you find some comfort there, even more so if you look the song up and listen to it.

    "Don't have to question, everything you feel
    It's in your heart, in your mind, in your soul

    Not everything you want is what you need
    Look inside, look inside and you'll see

    (Don't look back) take it easy on yourself
    (Don't look back) don't have to worry
    (Don't look back) take it easy on yourself this time

    As we rise, we fall, fall to the ground
    But get up, get up, on your feet
    And if you look around there's always someone there
    Just look up, look up, to the skies

    (Don't look back) take it easy on yourself
    (Don't look back) don't have to worry
    (Don't look back) take it easy on yourself this time

    (Don't look back)
    (Don't look back)
    (Don't look back)
    (Don't look back)

    Sending you love and hugs <3

    Mandy xxxx

  3. I am so pleased that you are beginning to get back your life, a new life, where all the pain and grief of betrayal will in time become memories of the past and they won't hurt you anymore.
    The love of your children will help you, I know this and better times are ahead of you. You will find the strength to enjoy life once more and come out of that cold and dark place that these kind of hurtful circumstances send us, you will feel the sunshine again and the warmth and beauty of all that is around you.
    The bridal shawl is so delicate and beautiful with its sparkling crystals and Héloïse is a beautiful model.
    Take care sweet Stephanie, I know from experience that a new and happier life is waiting for you.
    Much love, Dianne
    xoxoxo ♡

  4. I'm broken hearted that you've had SUCH a bad time sweetheart, but I'm so excited for your fresh start, your coming peace and tranquility xxx My love and thoughts are always with you xxxx

  5. The shawl is beyond beautiful, I'm in total awe of the delicate beads what skill you have! You're a very special lady who deserves joy, light and happiness and I'm sure this awful time will soon be a faded memory and happy times will be just around the corner. Sending you much love and strength.
    Jess xx

  6. I feel hope in your words Stephanie, take care of yourself and your three lovely children!
    Your shawl is breathtaking!
    V xxx

  7. Dear Stephanie,
    May May be filled with joy and peace, a new month and a new start in your life. May it bring spring into your home and heart.
    I have been and will be thinking of you and your three beautiful children. Wishing the best for you.
    Your shawl is a wonder! (and of course, Héloïse the most perfect model, a fairy of light). I admire your delicate and patient work.
    Much love

  8. Dear Stephanie - when you have your home and lovely children to yourself I suspect it will feel like a heavy weight and dark shadow has been lifted from your lives. Take care, time they say is a great healer.
    Héloïse looks so lovely in the beautiful shawl.

  9. I'm sure you will put your life back on track, dear Stephanie and all the strength you have will be used in a new area now. Your children are so precious for a mother and you are for them. Its early days for you, take care of yourself.What a beautiful shawl resting on these delicate shoulders!
    God bless you...

  10. Stunning, both the shawl and the model. Know that there is a community of women here in blogland (and on instagram) who think you are wonderful and send you love and support. I hope you can feel it. Hugs to you. xxx

  11. I am unaware of your difficult situation, and will not pry by asking, but I wanted you to know that I send you all good thoughts and hopes that you will soon be happy and that whatever is troubling you will pass to allow only good things to come to you. Hugs and all good thoughts. xx

  12. Absolutely stunning!! What a beautiful knit!!

  13. Such a beautiful shawl Stephanie, so delicate.
    So pleased that May will bring new beginnings for you and your children.
    May you once again feel the joy of the beauty around you and rediscover that inner peace.
    Have a wonderful trip to England and happy birthday wishes from Oz to your eldest daughter.


  14. lovely shawl, lovely girl and love love love that you are feeling better, stronger and fiercer. I know that you will be well and rise about your stress. Still thinking of you :)

  15. Your Fairy Queen looks stunning in her shawl. x

  16. Your shawl is magnificent! I can just imagine how therapeutic it was for you to create such beauty while dealing with your changes. I am sure you will come out of this with a renewed wonderful life, as it's you who makes the beauty in your home. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

  17. Lovely to see you rising Stephanie! Most of this year is still yours to come yet... what thrills lie ahead for this brand new and positive path! Keep going girl!! Susannah x

  18. The shawl and its model and its creator, Stephanie, are truly lovely. Across the miles I join in the chorus of those who care about you and are cheering you on through this transition and are sending you love and hugs and praying you will know peace that passes understanding. xx

  19. Stephanie, I continue to send you my very best wishes, along with praise for your ability to find that creativity can feed the soul when that soul most needs nourishing.

    The knitting is lovely and Heloise completes the beautiful picture.

    Hoping that the coming weeks are going to bring additional sunlight and relaxation and happiness to you.


  20. The lovely shawl and the quote go so perfectly together - in fact my first thought when I saw these photos was "Titania".

    Dear Stephanie, my prayer for you and your children is that "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

    More hugs to you, sweet friend across the water.

  21. Sending my good wishes Stephanie xxx
    The shawl is so beautiful and more so as every stitch helped you to stay afloat in a sea of chaos.

    Hoping calmer times are round the corner.

  22. Stephanie since I read your Instagram post the other day you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I know that you have such a kind and generous heart and you deserve the best. you have the strength within you to make it through these times and your children will always be there for you just as m mine have been for me during my most terrible of experiences. Love and hugs from me

  23. Honestly, I was just thinking of you last night, and this morning, behold, a new post. A new creation (I WANT ONE!) and a new lease on life coming your way.

    All I can say is that out of ashes comes a new fire for living. Stephanie, I wish you the best and your strength to take tragedy and turn it into life is admirable. But we all somehow come to a point in our lives where we need to do just that, to various degrees.

    Your shawl....oh my word, this is so beautiful, as well as the lovely model wearing it. May their lives be enriched by your strength, and your life be supported by their love as well. And you know what? I pray for their father. He needs to find his way back home to humanity. Anita

  24. Dear Stephanie, your photos of your beautiful daughter and exquisite shawl are stunning. Her shawl beads shimmer like ice against pur white warm wool. I love that you have quoted from Midsummer Night's Dream ... Just perfect. Your creative skills and literary appreciation are such wonderful resources for you at such a difficult time. Too soon for letting go and forgiving, but, given time and distance... Your hurt will heal, your spontaneous feeling for natures bounty will return to you. Wishing you love and hugs. Pat x

  25. What a beautiful shawl! Isn't it amazing how knitting or quilting or doing something with our hands can help us through the toughest of times. I sense a new beginning, just like spring, and know you'll move into summer, stronger and wiser. XO

  26. Dearest Stephanie, my heart goes out to you and your children. I am so sorry you have had to endure this ordeal but please know that my love comes over the way to surround you. Along with all your blog friends, I wish you happiness in the future and calm after this terrible storm. You are in my thoughts each day.

  27. Dear, sweet Stephanie. I am hopeless at saying the right thing, but I do believe in saying something, otherwise how would you know that I have thought of you often in these past weeks and hoped that a little sunlight would soon find it's way back into your life.

    That is such a beautiful knit, needles and yarn are just the best tonic for what ails us x

  28. I'm sorry you and your children have had this life experience but I'm glad to read you are turning that corner and will be free of shadow and cold. This bridal shawl is gorgeous.

  29. Such a beautiful shawl, beautifully made - and a very beautiful Héloïse too :) Here's to a much, much happier May xxx

    "'Tis like the birthday of the world,
    When earth was born in bloom;
    The light is made of many dyes,
    The air is all perfume:
    There's crimson buds, and white and blue,
    The very rainbow showers
    Have turned to blossoms where they fell,
    And sown the earth with flowers."
    - Thomas Hood

  30. I hope everything works out for you, all the terrible grinding practicalities of life when things change hugely like this. I can see you have the strength and grace to move on and I admire you immensely for that. I hope with all my heart that where and how you and your children live will be easy for you all.

  31. I am glad to read that you were able to glimpse the light even in the darkest time. Surely the beautiful piece you've created has woven a little of its magic into the places you need it most. There's no understanding the hard times. There's endurance and grace and belief that all will pass and you'll come through this.
    I'm so glad that I decided to read a bit tonight and chose your post.
    Thinking of you and yours......

  32. My dear friend, I am so sorry that this has been a difficult time. I hope you know that I have tried to keep you close to my heart so that you would feel the love I have for you, the love we all have for you from afar. I am so glad that yarn has given you some peace and some purpose. I wish for you that May brings you peace also.
    Sending you a huge, huge, hug.

  33. Dear Stephanie,

    Wishing you a happy new beginning with your children. You will manage, I know you will. Keep looking for the beauty around you and stay who you are: a warm and loving person.

    Much love,

    Madelief x

  34. I hope the beauty of Spring is healing for you all.

  35. To the future and to the silver linings you will find as time goes on. Take care x

  36. The worst is behind you.....we've been hoping and praying that you and your sweet children have had the strength to move forward; you obviously have! :)

  37. From one who truly appreciates your work, your words and your wisdom thank you for finding the strength to continue.

  38. It's a very precious shawl, and a very precious life you are living and you deserve to live it surrounded by love and integrity and caring. I'm sure this will all come, sometimes we have to stare in the face of what we don't want. It will all be very different and light. You can let this experience fall from your shoulders and carry on. X

  39. Your blog is so lovely - very sorry that you're experiencing such a rough time. Sending best wishes for peace & healing. One day at a time.

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