Dear friends,
There will be few words again today. The betrayal, malevolence and contempt I have been subjected to in my home since the early weeks of this year have made creative thinking almost impossible for the time being. I hesitated before putting those words down but I know my situation, however painful and frightening, is sadly a common one. True friends and family -and perhaps too an inner strength - have saved me from floundering and have reminded me on an almost daily basis that there is light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I have trained myself to focus solely on love, light and goodness and to turn away from all demeaning thoughts and to remain steadfast in my relationship with those I hold most dear. There will be release from this intensely stressful time at the end of this month although I realise other challenges lie ahead. Whilst I am a sensitive and anxious woman I also remain a fighter.
I took the pictures below of Héloïse (who turns nineteen at the end of April) a few weeks ago under a steady drizzle. We chose this beautiful, rich colourway, Venetian, by Madelinetosh for her latest pullover; a pattern by Tin Can Knits called Prairie Fire: some of you might remember this version I made for Angélique last autumn? I look back on the hour spent here with her under the rain, surrounded by damp, blossoming trees with a quiet sense of joy and gratitude. Héloïse has been a steadfast source of kindness throughout these times. The least she deserves is a handknit pullover!
There will be few words again today. The betrayal, malevolence and contempt I have been subjected to in my home since the early weeks of this year have made creative thinking almost impossible for the time being. I hesitated before putting those words down but I know my situation, however painful and frightening, is sadly a common one. True friends and family -and perhaps too an inner strength - have saved me from floundering and have reminded me on an almost daily basis that there is light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I have trained myself to focus solely on love, light and goodness and to turn away from all demeaning thoughts and to remain steadfast in my relationship with those I hold most dear. There will be release from this intensely stressful time at the end of this month although I realise other challenges lie ahead. Whilst I am a sensitive and anxious woman I also remain a fighter.
I took the pictures below of Héloïse (who turns nineteen at the end of April) a few weeks ago under a steady drizzle. We chose this beautiful, rich colourway, Venetian, by Madelinetosh for her latest pullover; a pattern by Tin Can Knits called Prairie Fire: some of you might remember this version I made for Angélique last autumn? I look back on the hour spent here with her under the rain, surrounded by damp, blossoming trees with a quiet sense of joy and gratitude. Héloïse has been a steadfast source of kindness throughout these times. The least she deserves is a handknit pullover!
And here is Héloïse in her very first minor television role in a French series most fittingly cast as an angel!
Warmest wishes to you all. I hope your spring is both peaceful and enjoyable.
Stephanie x
My thoughts are with you as you work through the issues and move forward with your life.
ReplyDeleteThe sweater is lovely, and your daughter even more so. Very best wishes,
Gaynor
Sending you big hugs and lots of love as you push your way forwards through all this with admirable strength. Thank heavens for your beautiful children to keep you focused on the good and loving things.Heloise looks wonderful in the jumper and as an angel, how blessed to have her support. Take care my dear Stephanie, there will be light at the end of the tunnel and all good things once again. Gill xxxx
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are going through such difficult times and thank goodness you have your beautiful daughter beside you. Gorgeous jumper love the colour. Sending you positive vibes and big hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteThinking of you dear Stephanie. Heroise looks beautiful in her new sweater.
ReplyDeleteHeloise is a such a beautiful girl and her new sweater makes her divine. You must be very proud of her.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...
Olympia
Héloïse makes the perfect angel and she looks beautiful in her gorgeous sweater, it's definitely 'her' colour. I always think of her when I look at her lovely little bunny illustration that sits in my craft room. You are in my thoughts too lovely lady, happier times are ahead, just hold on to that!
ReplyDeleteV x
Your daughter and her new sweater are wonderful. Thinking of you and wishing you positive thoughts at this troubled time. x
ReplyDeleteMy dear friend. I was just thinking of you this morning....truly! Many times when a blogger pal comes to mind in the early morning, I find that she has just posted.
ReplyDeleteI am coming via email.
Your daughter, how gorgeous is she. How brave you are.
Back in a few, Anita
Dear Stephanie, I am truly sad that you are enduring such tribulations, and truly happy that you have your beautiful daughter to support you through them. And perhaps knitting helps to calm your mind a little too x
ReplyDeleteMy dear Stephanie, my heart and prayers go out to you for strength and to keep your fighting spirit. You are a brave woman and have to be for yourself and for your children. Life is not fair that is for sure. You need to be kind to yourself, and let no negative messages into your sensitive soul. I am here for you if you need a chat or a shoulder to cry on. Your daughter gets more and more beautiful every day.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Meredith
Sending positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteDear Stephanie, I send you my very best wishes as you continue on your path to a happier future. I am glad that you have caring folks, like lovely Heloise, around to support you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Heloise on her angelic role and Happy Birthday to her, too!
The Venetian colorway is one of my favorites in that marvelous yarn. How well it suits the design, and how beautifully it suits your beautiful daughter.
You are a strong woman, a talentied sensitive artist, a scholar and a fine mother. I am so fortunate to have be able to get to know you via our blogging community. xo
Dear Stephanie, my heart and thoughts go out to you at this difficult time. May the love and support of those who really care give you the strength to continue on the path to happier times and remove the hurt from your heart.
ReplyDeleteWonderful photos of your beautiful daughter Héloïse in her lovely sweater and as an Angel, I am so pleased you have her love and emotional support.
Hugs, Dianne ♡
Gorgeous sweater which suits your beautiful Heloise totally...colour and all. I do particularly like the pattern at the back of the sweater....different.
ReplyDeleteI hate to hear you are having such a difficult time and hope it will be settled soon and can look forward to happier times!!
Keep well and keep strong dear Stephanie
xxx Amanda
A beautiful sweater and a beautiful girl.
ReplyDeleteTerrible times for you, but you have your beautiful daughter, love the sweater, and didn't she make a beautiful angel.
ReplyDeleteHugs and more lovely lady xx
ReplyDeleteSending my small but steady flame to add to the light that is surrounding and uplifting you. Know that many, many care for you and keep you in their thoughts. And I, especially, lovely lady. Hold fast to the beauty in your life. It endures and outlasts any of the hurt or sadness.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, dearest Stephanie xxx
ReplyDeleteAh, dear Stephanie, I have been there. As my dear departed Dad advised me, remain true to yourself, and you will come out of it in a better place. I did and I placed a different emphasis on my relationships after that. The love of your children and your own self worth will get you through.
ReplyDeleteMuch love
Nicola
xxx
Dear Stephanie - what is there to say but that we love you and are here for you?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful daughter, beautiful sweater. Beautiful YOU, inside and out.
Praying for your strength and peace, and for that of your dear children,
Sue
Dear Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI have been worring about you since your last post and was hoping for happier words, happier times for you. I wish these will come soon. I hope you'll be alright. You are a wonderful person, a talented and beautiful woman... if you ever need a friend, I'm not that far.
Héloïse is a beauty! as an angel as well as a spring fairy (I love the colour of your sweater, just perfect for her).
Much love to you and your charming children.
Amélie
Dear Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping in touch. I am joining with those in the comments above to share my care and concern for you and yours as you work through this painful transition. In the midst of your turmoil I am both encouraged and amazed by the beautiful sweater you have created for your daughter. She is such a lovely model...of an angel as well :)
As I am typing to you I am having some dental oriented pain. While nothing like what you are experiencing, I am reminded of quotes that bring me comfort and hope. "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 and "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;" John 14:16
I am so glad you have supportive people around you as you walk through this time, Stephanie. And as for myself, I am on hold waiting to talk an advice nurse, and I have family around to help if needed, as well :)
xx
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I hope there will be better times soon. This sweater is beautiful and your daughter looks lovely in it. Take care and know that we are all thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and somewhat relieved to read a post even if things are still in limbo. Amazingly you can still produce beautiful makes and photos. Stay strong and one day this period of your life will just be a distant memory.
ReplyDeleteJo x
Thinking of you in this difficult time. What a beautiful angel of a daughter and a perfect knit for her -the colour is lovely and brings out het beautiful hair perfectly. Juliex
ReplyDeleteDear Stephanie, So sorry to hear of the hard time you have been having. I'm glad with Héloïse's support you are able to focus on the love and goodness around you, and fight your way out of the dark tunnel. I'm know the support of your blogging friends will help you too. Take care and treat yourself gently. Sarah x
ReplyDeleteEchoing what everyone else is saying Stephanie. Stay strong and true to yourself. Do whatever gets you through it and you can vent spleen to me anytime you wish. Keep knitting. It soothes the soul and there is something productive too. Heloise looks fabulous in her sweater. It is beautiful. Sending you a big hug.💋
ReplyDeletedearest stephanie, I'm praying for you, sending your strength, hope and better days ahead!
ReplyDeleteDear Stephanie, I am horrified and saddened to read that your situation, difficult enough as it was, couldn't resolve itself in a more humane and civilised way. I'm devastated to learn that it has been so horrendous for you, however, sadly, as you say, I have found through the recent experience of two close friends that this is in fact quite common. I wish I knew what it is that changes the hearts and minds of human beings so dramatically; the ones we once knew so well and trusted. But while it is life-altering, you will emerge with a stronger sense of self than possibly ever before in your life. Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter and closest ally, as well as your little ones. Much love xx
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are going through something right now. You will emerge stronger, wiser, and victorious in other ways. Keep your head up, girl. Gorgeous young lady there in a wonderful jumper.
ReplyDeleteDear Stephanie, I am so sorry you are in this situation. I am sending you hugs filled with love and hope that you will get through this as I know you can. Heloise is a beautiful young lady and I'm so glad you have her to help you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Sharon
your beautiful children will pull you through, you will find your way. So sorry it's difficult. Beauty kindness and light will find it's way back into your life, it sounds like a shedding of all that is not that. Stay focused on what brings you joy. X
ReplyDeleteDear Stephanie, stay strong through this difficult time. I know there will be better times ahead xx
ReplyDeletebtw I'm now going to find the pattern for that beautiful sweater... I love the pointy shape at the back!
You are indeed such a strong, creative, joyful person, these stormy times will pass, and your life will be filled with sunshine again. You are surrounded by love - and an angel, too! - and your creativity has not been thwarted by tough times, that beautiful sweater is testament to that! Keep making, listen to some calming baroque music, and know that you have legions of support from your online crafty community, too! Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteYour Heloise is beautiful -- as is her new pullover. I love the way it comes to a "v" in the back. Sending you good wishes that your difficult times may soon be over. XO
ReplyDeleteI am saddened to know that life is being made so difficult for you - may there be light around the corner soon for you.
ReplyDeleteYou have a lovely family who must be of great comfort to you.
Dear Stephanie, sorry to hear you are going through such a heart wrenching situation right now. Although we do not know the details, we send you our support, love and prayers. You are such a lovely brave woman to even put your pain on paper and we are grateful for that. The jumper is beautiful by the way. I hope you and your family get through this ordeal soon. Sharon x
ReplyDeleteOh dear stephanie,i was hoping your painful situation had improved ,how wrong could i be ? we all send our love and hugs to help you through this pain xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you good thoughts and best wishes from Michigan. Bad things pass away. May all that's troubling you pass away quickly.
ReplyDeleteHow very stunning Stephanie... Wonderful pullover for your wonderful, wonderful daughter.
ReplyDeleteYou have been in my thoughts, and like so many of your friends I have been sending loving thoughts your way every day. Please know that you are loved and supported from all corners of the world.
Your strength and the strength you get from your amazing children will guide you through this horrific time, all the way to light again. May happy days shine on you soon, my friend! (((hugs)))
Beautiful photos of your beautiful daughter wearing your fabulous make. Have courage, which I believe comes from the French coeur for heart. - heart that you have in abundance. Wishing you love, Pat x
ReplyDeleteI think of you often dear Lady, and words are not enough for how much I wish you well in the journey. Keep strong, keep centred and what a wonderful daughter you have, Warmest thoughts, Susannah xx
ReplyDeleteI hope thing settle down for you soon. Your daughter and her sweater are both beautiful. Sending good thoughts your way. Take the high road and you will end up proud of yourself. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
ReplyDeleteSending you strength and love, you are strong and you will emerge from this stronger and with a whole host of new possibilities. Take care lovely xxx
ReplyDeleteHow very beautiful your daughter is. They are blessings aren't they, daughters, and sons.
ReplyDeleteHow very beautiful your daughter is. They are blessings aren't they, daughters, and sons.
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